Claire aged 41
Two weeks after being discharged from hospital talking about recovering from Community Acquired Pneumonia.
I just think I should be better by now. It should be better. I’ve had the antibiotics. So, part of my brain is still going, ‘Well, it’s over with now, you should be feeling better, you should be able to do stuff’. So, I’m getting frustrated with myself because I’ll start doing something, like I tried to hoover today and I didn’t do a very good job and I was absolutely shattered by the end of it. And I was like, ‘But you’ve only hoovered two rooms, what is wrong with you?’ So, I’m getting really mad at myself for not being able to do stuff.
I’m getting a little bit paranoid because I’ve got to go back to work next week and just the walk to the bus stop and then off the bus, I just think those walks are going to kill me, literally. I can’t walk that far. Like now I feel OK, I feel a bit congested but I feel OK, but then I start doing stuff and then I don’t feel OK. And it’s just kind of like, it’s like somebody keeps taking something away from you. So, my mind’s going, ‘You’re better now’, but then my body goes, ‘No, you’re not’. So, it’s just frustrating.
The flat’s a mess, it’s doing my head in, obviously because I’m sitting in it all the time it’s completely doing my head in. So, it’s just made me feel just a bit frustrated. I’m more frustrated that things aren’t moving as quickly as I want them to and the breathlessness, it’s like why am I still breathless, I’ve never suffered with asthma or any other condition before so I don’t really understand that whole breathlessness thing. I mean I’ve been breathless when I’ve ran for the bus, don’t get me wrong, but this is a totally different thing. It’s not I’m out of breath because I’m unfit, this is I’m just out of breath and I’m not doing anything.
(Footnote the photograph is Claire's cat looking exactly how she felt when she told her story)